>> I think it's great that you are [encouraging default gender-neutral/genderless pronouns] by using singular they whenever you can. I try to do this as well. I have mixed success; I am fairly decent when it's regarding a stranger, but it's very easy for me to fall into gendered pronouns after I know a person, even if I know that they (like me) are open to and/or prefer neutral pronouns like "they"...which is one reason that I wish it were more the norm, because I know how easy it is to fall into and I know how much I dislike that and think it's overall harmful to individuals and our society/species/etc. <<
Changing the habits of a lifetime is hard, and takes time. As I mentioned in a conversation I was in some months ago about pronouns, just say "Oops!", apologize, and move on. The article I got this advice from described it as a way of putting the focus on using the correct pronoun, not on your misstep -- and that is much more affirming to the person in question.
>> I think you're right that doing that consistently will get people thinking. Often people start to question gender over many interactions like that, and at first a person might be resistant to the idea whereas if they are exposed to it several times, a year later they may embrace it. <<
And I hope that the more people who do it, and the more often it happens, the more customary it will become. And in a way much better than trying to enforce it by edict from above. (See also below.)
>> I live in a very rural and conservative area and some of my clients are transgender, and there have been some very ignorant comments made by co-workers. I always try to express why we should be supporting xyz or reiterate support for broader gender expression in a way that relevant to the conversation at the time ("it's important we have an inclusive environment so I really try to use the correct pronouns for that person," or "so-and-so already struggles with a lot from their family so I do my best to make sure they feel safe here," etc). Over the last year I have noticed a lot more acceptance and people correcting themselves and really trying to use the correct pronouns, fewer negative comments, etc. I'm not sure how much I contributed to that but I hope it was something. <<
I'd say it was quite a bit more than just "something". And I'd chalk a good deal of that up to how you present the concept of using someone's declared pronouns as a benefit for that person, as opposed to treating not using them as an error. Your examples are well worth incorporating into my own pronoun advocacy.
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Changing the habits of a lifetime is hard, and takes time. As I mentioned in a conversation I was in some months ago about pronouns, just say "Oops!", apologize, and move on. The article I got this advice from described it as a way of putting the focus on using the correct pronoun, not on your misstep -- and that is much more affirming to the person in question.
>> I think you're right that doing that consistently will get people thinking. Often people start to question gender over many interactions like that, and at first a person might be resistant to the idea whereas if they are exposed to it several times, a year later they may embrace it. <<
And I hope that the more people who do it, and the more often it happens, the more customary it will become. And in a way much better than trying to enforce it by edict from above. (See also below.)
>> I live in a very rural and conservative area and some of my clients are transgender, and there have been some very ignorant comments made by co-workers. I always try to express why we should be supporting xyz or reiterate support for broader gender expression in a way that relevant to the conversation at the time ("it's important we have an inclusive environment so I really try to use the correct pronouns for that person," or "so-and-so already struggles with a lot from their family so I do my best to make sure they feel safe here," etc). Over the last year I have noticed a lot more acceptance and people correcting themselves and really trying to use the correct pronouns, fewer negative comments, etc. I'm not sure how much I contributed to that but I hope it was something. <<
I'd say it was quite a bit more than just "something". And I'd chalk a good deal of that up to how you present the concept of using someone's declared pronouns as a benefit for that person, as opposed to treating not using them as an error. Your examples are well worth incorporating into my own pronoun advocacy.