December is coming

[st_aurafina]

I promised myself I'd finish that chatty December meme thing this year, and now December is coming and I haven't finished last December's. It's been a heck of a year.


We have moved, btw. And the new house is great, but I have all kinds of hang-ups about not deserving to live in such a nice place. Thank goodness for therapy. I think it's all tied into the being shunned by my mother? It's surprising how much it's preying on my mind as the first anniversary of the shunning approaches. lilacsigil's family are coming to visit through December, so that will be nicely distracting. And strange - we've never had space for visitors, apart from the kind that don't mind the fold-out sofa-bed and being piled on by cats.


Because of things, including a day trip to Melbourne last Thursday (yaaaaaay eight hours in a car), I'm still ferociously behind in NaNo, but I'm slowly eating away at the word debt and haven't accrued any more this week. I might make it? I hope I'll make it. I'm writing some kind of Winter Soldier epic roadtrip with flashbacks. Flashbacks are great. Getting bored? FLASHBACK! Plan somewhat sketchy on details? FLASHBACK! Really want to write some Peggy Carter? SUDDENLY A FLASHBACK! Ah, NaNo. Such good times.


Anyway. Going to try to finish December 2013, before 2014 is upon me.

From netgirl_y2k: So on tumblr I've noticed you post a lot of pictures of horses. Do you ride, keep horses, just like pictures of them?

I used to, when I lived with my parents, who tree-changed to the Mornington Peninsula. They had 10 acres, and we had horses. It was that chill, ponies in the top-paddock kind of arrangement. I went to Pony Club (which is like, Girl Guides on horseback), I competed at that level. Having a horse was a bit of a lifesaver for fat, awkward, bullied little me. Horses are good and non-judgmental companions. My first horse was an anglo-arab galloway, and a right bastard. I fell off him every single time I rode, I broke ribs and toes and fingers, I got black eyes and blood noses, and I kept falling off him, and people would come up to my mother at Pony Club to tell her this horse was going to kill me, and I kept falling off, until one day I didn't. And after that, I had stickability and fearlessness and I rarely fell off anything, and people would ask me to ride their right bastard horses to help them out.

I don't have a photo of him, but I do have a photo of Stocky, who was a first cross quarter horse. He was a darling. It's a photo of a very yellowed photo (life before digital cameras!) taken at a Pony Club one day event.




[Chestnut horse and rider, jumping a white wooden fence]

Look at the darling - cross-country in a snaffle, no big deal. (A snaffle is a super gentle bit, and it means that he was incredibly kind, and I had zero fear he was going to bolt.)

Comments

[frayadjacent]

You were a horse person?? I was a horse person too! Horses are the best.

I envy people who grew up with Pony Club. In the SW USA it was all about the Western style riding (basically horses getting all athleticism trained out of them) and rodeo stuff (which even when it wasn't terrible horsemanship it was waaaaaayyy too expensive for us). I was too meek a rider to do much jumping but I eventually discovered dressage. I imagine it varies a lot regionally but in the SW US the dressage community was super chill and basically just people who loved horses, and even though I had a clunky, lazy, horribly unathletic quarter horse (snaffles were no problem for him, lol) I was very welcomed.

Having a horse was a bit of a lifesaver for fat, awkward, bullied little me. Horses are good and non-judgmental companions.

So much this. I remember sitting with my horse in the evening crying my eyes out over the latest bullying, and he just munched his hay peacefully. It was so soothing.

My first horse was an anglo-arab galloway, and a right bastard.

Hee, my horse was a bastard too, but much too lazy to do anything to throw me. I fell off him two or three times and they were all accidents, mostly involving him stumbling while I tried to make him gallop. But his ground manners were terrible: he loved to step on feet and nip at people and knocked me down by ramming into me a few times. He mellowed out with age though and we got along great, I always kinda liked what a curmudgeon he was.

But I do sometimes wish I'd had the experience of riding a scarier horse, so I could have gotten tougher about falling and been better at sticking on.

[hope]

What a fantastic photo!

[whatistigerbalm]

You deserve good things!

[vass]

Aw, he was a beauty. I always loved chestnut horses best, it was a Thing.

And little you did a great job with his mane.

I'm totally impressed with how you persisted with the bastard horse and learned to stick on.

(I was one of the city brats who went out to Sunbury every Saturday for a riding lesson or a trail ride. I had the same riding helmet and jodhpurs and boots. I can still remember so many of the horses. Tammy, the gentle old bay the beginners learned on. Dash, the cranky, eye-rolling cream pony who you could maybe get to trot if you were more stubborn than he was. Nicky, the friendly liver chestnut I learned to canter and do low jumps on. Circus, the first horse I galloped on. Romany, who also let me gallop on trail rides, and who in class came to a halt every time we passed the arena gate. They were all such people.)

[senmut]

Horses are awesome. I wish I'd had the time and ability to actually work on learning to ride properly. But we had work horses, and they were just playful when it was us girls working the herds.

+hugs you over family issues+

So glad the move happened so you can settle in and watch kitties discover it all.

[retsuko]

You lived my childhood dream! (All except for the falling off a difficult horse part.) ;) Seriously, so awesome, although I'm sorry you had so many injuries to deal with.

And yay for the new house. You absolutely deserve it! :D

[lonelywalker]

December is a state of mind!

*pets the horse*

[st_aurafina]

Yay for horse people! Such good people.

in the SW US the dressage community was super chill and basically just people who loved horses

Yeah, pretty much? There's a big LGBTQ bunch in the dressage/showing/eventing world, over here, which was nice for confused teenage me. Nice to have some fantastic role models who also happened to be gay.

But I do sometimes wish I'd had the experience of riding a scarier horse, so I could have gotten tougher about falling and been better at sticking on.

Hee! It was a bit of a trial by fire, and such a sign of how much I loved riding that I didn't give up in those first couple of years.

[st_aurafina]

It is, isn't it? I didn't think so when I was wee, but there's much I love about it now. Glad I took a digital photo, since I don't think the original is going to last long.

[st_aurafina]

Oh, thanks! *hugs*

See, my logical brain knows that, but I'm still trying to convince my primitive emotional brain. I'll get there.

[st_aurafina]

He was a lovely guy and very pretty, too. He had a perfect diamond star, and lovely wibbly lips and he loved, loved babies in prams and would gaze goofily at them for as long as he could. And he would kick a soccer ball, just sort of dribble it around between his front and back legs. He was such a lovely dag. I love getting to know them all and learning their personalities and quirks.

I'm totally impressed with how you persisted with the bastard horse and learned to stick on.

ASPIE TRIUMPH! Seriously, I don't know if I persisted so much as perseverated, but the result was good.

[st_aurafina]

Working horses are amazing! And working riders, too. I would have loved the chance to ride like that. But you know, hobby farm. The only stock besides the ponies was a Jersey cow and two sheep.

The kitties have done amazingly - it was a big relief, because I'd worried so much about them. But they love the space, and the carpet must be super-scratchy to them or something because they worm all over it on their backs. So funny.

[vass]

I didn't know horses kicked soccer balls. That's awesome.

ASPIE TRIUMPH! Seriously, I don't know if I persisted so much as perseverated, but the result was good.

*fistbump of Aspie triumph* You definitely took "get back on the horse" to heart.

[lark_ascends]

Yay for moving. I hope you get to the point of not having the hang ups about the new house. *hugs you* I'm sorry that your mother is still being horrible.

Lovely to hear about the horse riding.

[st_aurafina]

December is to be survived!

[st_aurafina]

It was my childhood dream too! It was pretty good, even with the injuries. Totally worth it.

I am settling into this house. I will get there! I deserve it!

[st_aurafina]

*hugs* It will get better in the house - I have lost that feeling of my mum sitting on my shoulder picking me to bits, which is nice. Just need to get comfortable in the new house.

[rthstewart]

Waves, hello, I'm new over here, obviously and just saw this lovely post. I am sorry about the parental stress. Blergh. It's SO complicated. But how lovely that you have a nice house and a good therapist.

HORSES. Oh he is LOVELY and so are you! I never did what we called in the US cross country or 3day eventing. I did own and show hunters and jumpers in my youth and picked up again as an adult, for a while. Heh. Here, riders run out of money before they run out of talent, but I never very good, and actually was better as an adult than as a junior. It's lovely to meet you!

[st_aurafina]

*waves hello*

He was a lovely guy, and just so willing - we don't really have hunter classes over here, but the Pony Club runs a lot of one day events - you do all three phases in one day - and it was a lot of fun. I think it's probably a lot more competitive these days, even at the PC level, but I got so much out of it.