Patron Saint of Falling Over Things

We Australians are wild about Eurovision! We're all waiting eagerly to watch the SBS broadcast of the final tonight. It's a thing we look forward to every year. We have parties and stuff. We really, really love our Eurovision parties.

PLEASE DON'T SPOIL US! PLEASE USE CUTS!

ETA: We made it unspoiled! Thank you so much, Europe! Congrats to the winning country!

BAKU, people. I can't even. Baku.

Let us begin with three incredibly awkward and (apparently, according to wiki) hugely over-qualified hosts. Ah, Eurovision hosts. I do not envy you your job.

( Montenegro, Iceland, Greece, Latvia, Albania, Romania, Switzerland, Belgium, Finland, Israel, San Marino, Cyprus, Denmark, Russia, Hungary, Austria, Moldova, Ireland )

I'm sticking to red wine tonight. After last night's libations, I woke up with my tongue the size and shape of a savoiardi biscuit. I went to work with my top on inside out, and didn't realise until I got home. (Fortunately, I also wear a white coat, which covers a multitude of sins.) I'm therefore exercising a little moderation.

So, night two begins with the biggest balalaika in the world. I didn't know that there was a bass balalaika, but this is apparently so. This musical performance is a retrospective of past Eurovision winners, including Waterloo performed on rollerskates, and the ever-present cossack dancers. They always put Dana International's song in these medleys, and I think she'd appreciate the performance tonight: by rows and rows of glittering, tall-hatted women.

Now there's a rows of brown and white bears, one of whom is carrying a smoke machine. And you haven't lived until you've seen a row of russians in bear suits do the worm. In case you were worried about us drifting from Russia's cultural roots, the bears then did some Cossack dancing. I can see the slot for the bear-actor's eyes, it's right under the bears' chins, and it's a bit spooky. I can see fear through those slots. They better not mis-step.

( When you're tired of Eurovision, you're tired of life. )

Okay, let the weeping and wailing and hair-tearing of those who didn't go through begin! I have eight hours of spoiler-free time on the internet before the final airs in Moscow, then I have to avoid spoilers. Last year, SBS broadcast the name of the winner before they aired the final over here - lame.

What will I post about tomorrow? I've already covered all but five of the competitors. *worries* Maybe just a results round up?

I am having a birthday. My sister got me a silicone spatula, it is AWESOME. (And kind of sexy. It has a stainless steel handle and everything.) And weirdofromafar gave me virtual balloons! (Thank you, sweety! *smooches*) And I have cake!

I also have an shiny new iPod touch, and I'm using it as a e-book reader. I've loaded it up with sncross_bigbang fics, and can read late into the night, and it's awesome. I'm using Stanza to manage my files, and it's gorgeous to use, and so freaking intuitive, and I think I love reading on that little gizmo.

I went to my mum's house to show her how to set up google reader, so she can keep up with her friends' art blogs, and blammo! Two days later, she's set up her own blog, and is posting to it. I am both overwhelmed by her awesome leet computer skills, and terrified at sharing the blogosphere with her. She doesn't know about my LJ/DW, yet. Also, I found out she tracked down and installed herself a pirate version of Photoshop. I found this out when she started asking me about vector layers. *boggles*

Aside from my awesome mother, There is even more awesome on the internets right now. (Can you even believe it?)

Supernatural Crossover Big Bang: there is so much amazing fic here. Go, read. So many fandoms, so much good fic.

Marvel Movies Crossover Ficathon is taking sign-ups. Go, sign up. (Especially if you're a Blade or a Ghostrider fan - they are in short supply and would be greatly valued.)

Dead Bro Walking's fen of colour check in. If you're a Sci-fi/Fantasy fan and non-white, this is a place to raise your hand and be counted. (That post is obviously not a place for white fans to make comment, so I'll say here, in my journal, that watching this list grow and grow has made me very happy.)

The Star Trek Reboot Drabble Challenge - so many tiny ficlets celebrating the awesome that is the new Trek movie. Go claim a prompt, write a gem.

Ten Things You Should Probably Know About Star Trek, for newcomers to the fandom, and for people who want to indulge in a lot of nostalgia. (lilacsigil has a wealth of TOS novels on her shelves, and I think they're in a for a good re-read.)

I have posts I keep starting then discarding. I need to:
- squee over Star Trek, and the general awesomeness of the things that were in it
- post about all the manga I've been reading. OMG, all the manga I've been reading
- post some recs for all the awesome fic I've been reading
- specifically, post some recs from the LGBTFest on LJ

I will do these things. After cake. And after this weekend, which will be spent be drinking the liqueurs of various nations and celebrating Eurovision. (Must check that we have enough schnapps!)

This post, at my Livejournal

A minute ago I was up to my knuckles in delicious greasy meat, stripping lamb shanks of their flesh for a Persian lamb stew that's been cooking for four hours now. It has cinnamon in it, and lemon juice, and roasted tomatoes, and chickpeas, and turmeric (my hands were yellow from it!), and it smells amazing. AMAZING! And there's something gruesomely satisfying about tearing flesh from bones. The only problem is that the biggest pot we own is too small. We need some kind of giant stewing dish, because we're going to cook this again, and we need to be prepared.

I love our local butchers. They look after us well, they buy from local suppliers, and they have a giant poly-resin bull's head on the front of their shop.

( This is a Eurovision '08 spoiler )

( This is a spoiler for Doctor Who 4.01 )

We just put the stew into bowls. It was very splashy, and the stovetop is a nightmare, but it looks amazing. I can't wait to eat it. (This will be tomorrow night.)

So far, what I've learned from Finland's documentary about preparing to host the Eurovision song contest is that I really, really want to live in Finland: cold weather, sardonic sense of humour, really interesting faces. Finland, Finland, Finland; the country where I want to be.

We're about thirty six hours behind Europe. I hope not to be spoiled, although our papers are notoriously bad at printing the winners before the final is aired. I'm drinking schnapps.

Expectations from Eurovision 2007:

- That someone will have their dress torn off during their number. Possibly twice. (This means starting your performance wearing three costumes, one on top of the other.)

- An explosion of gimmick acts, following Lordi's glam rock win last year. I want to see lots and lots of Weta-style latex make-up, and customised contact lenses. And wings. And robots.

- The use of the word "arockalypse". I've been trying to say it at least once a day. Also, mention of the Day of Rockening.

- Nil points for Britain. Sorry, but it's true - the UK sucks at this competition.

- All the big countries that get automatic entry to suck. I'm drinking schnapps right now, in honour of Germany sucking. Sorry, Dingsi - perhaps you can draw comfort from the fact that Spain, France and Russia will also suck? I look forward to imbibing liquors from these great countries by the way. *checks vodka in freezer, considers buying tequila*

- Sweden to put forward another ABBA-esque entry. Get over ABBA, Sweden! For heaven's sake.

Ooh - Finland is putting forward an Amy Lee style entry this year! Sample lyrics: "Leave me alone, I want to go home!" Oh, Eurovision - I love you! *settles into sofa*

I love the Eurovision song competition. It's my birthday present every year. Tonight was the semi-final, and on Sunday it's the final.

It all works like this: every country puts up an act. They perform on TV, and then Europe votes. Each country is not allowed to vote for its own artist. There are massive voting bloc controversies, there's drama and tears, and there's incredibly bad music. And some good music. I love Eurovision, it's a big, wonky circus of joy.

The announcer (who is always plastered, so this may not be true) said that the US is working up its own version of Eurovision. I'm not sure that it would work, but you never know.

( I love Eurovision, but it's a harsh love. )

The word for when someone gives you an ear worm, is shpadoinkle.
For example: "Damn you Croatia, you shpadoinkled me with your damn song."

I like to watch the newspapers for interesting names. Sometimes it's for the shock-horror value of what some people can come up with given 26 letters and a hyphen or an apostrophe. (See - that's where all the apostrophes went. They move from the you'res and they'res to the Say'anas and Jai'ahs.)
Sometimes there's a tiny little geek baby. I've seen Jadzia Fox, and Beau, brother for Remi. There were a lot of Danas a while back.
So here's a puzzle today:
Vassilika, which is
a) a mysterious something in a Star Wars comic. The Yavin Vassilika
or
b) an village midway between Perithia and Acharavi on the north coast of Corfu
So, I guess they're either Geeks or Greeks.

Which leads me to the best thing about my birthday is the Eurovision song competition. Yay Eurotrash pop! Last year it was on my birthday, so I had presents, cake and Eurotrash pop. This year I had to wait a few days. Tonight it's the preliminary round, where all but the largest countries (UK, Germany and a few others) and last year's winners compete to qualify for the finals. Then on Sunday, there's the big final. It was suggested that we should have Chicken Kiev, because the event is in the Ukraine, but neither of us like food that seeps. When the Ukraine won last year, we learned that a favourite food of Ukraine is Salo, which is pig fat dipped in chocolate, but sadly, chocolate is now dead to me. Last year's winning performer was Russlana, who is mega-qualified as a musician and ethnic musicologist, with multiple degrees. She goes into the hills to study and record folk music. And she appeared on Eurovision last year wearing animal skins and cracking a big leather whip. Oh yeah, it was primal.

Mmm... primal.