I REFUSE TO BE SPIDERS GEORG

[st_aurafina]

So there I was, dripping wet, fresh out of the shower, wearing nothing but a pair of earbuds plugged into an audiobook while I was getting dressed when I see...
... a big black spider. It was the kind that scares me: not large, like when it comes to huntsmen spiders, but shiny and angry and full of terrible venom. I think it saw me at the same time that I saw it, and, I shit you not, it ran at me. Like, full-on rhino charge, fangs out and ready to rumble. I screamed and started texting lilacsigil for help as it got closer and closer. I couldn't type properly and the damn autocorrect kept fixing my terrified spelling and there was no time to backspace so I just kept trying to type 'spider', which is why lilacsigil got this text:



It's under my bed somewhere in the gloom, waiting for me to fall asleep with my mouth open. But I am not Spiders Georg. I am no statistical outlier.

I'm so a statistical outlier.



Meanwhile, in Imzy-land, I have learned that Imzy will only let you network with 14 other communities, which seems counter-intuitive for a networking platform, but okay. I have started a fandom_calendar comm, which people are starting tentatively to use. Which is good.

So far, I'm finding it an odd mix of neat and clunky. I like the way it handles anon posting. I hate the way you have to click through to get to the links that people are posting, and the way comment notifications don't have the content of the comment in the email. Comment threading is wacky as hell, and comment order seems unpredictable once there's three or four commenters on a post (is it by popularity? Omg, so weird.) But the development team are pretty active, and things change day to day. Today they added a personal blog function.

I've still got invites, if anyone wants to try it out. (I need a email for that, or you can go to the link for my personal blog and request one there.)

This is me: st_aurafina
This is fandom_calendar: fandom_calendar
This is a multifandom drabble exchange that sign-ups close for soon: multifandomdrabble




Hey there, fake Eddie Redmayne. Hey there, dark evil lipstick lady! Hey there, fabulous Sikh guy. Hey there, business man on a motor cycle whom I now loosely ship with Tony Stark!

Tom's gin and tonic drizzle cake, and the fumes making the judges swoon.

Selasi, what was that come-hither gaze you threw Paul?

OMG JAFFA CAKES! Fake Eddie Redmayne, your jaffa cakes are upside down! Ah, so much jaffa cake. (I am so making jaffa cakes soon.)

SWEET SELASI MOLASSY! You are my new hot fave, you'd better not go out.

Mary is dubious about matcha being a foodstuff. Oh, Mary.

Oh, pink shirt guy, staaaaaahp.

Lady who likes swallows, staaaaahp.

Tom, put down the kirsch. I think you're a sot.

I don't think Val aka "I listen to my cakes" aka four-fruits-icing aka "Oh, that's corn flour?!" can actually cook. I think she might be a ringer. A nana ringer. I think she's just saying random things and throwing random ingredients together.

I love that final five minutes. I love how much they get done in five minutes, thanks to the magic of editing.

BENJAMINA DON'T CRY!! (Sue, touch her arm soothingly again. And again.)

Mel's sideways mugging for the camera when they do something wrong is killing me.

Aaaah, when they do well and they cry. I am so proud for them.

Omg that quivering blue monstrosity cake. I'm so sad for you, Swallow Lady.

SWEET SELASI MOLASSY! What is this editing? (lilacsigil says this is the eye-fuck edit.)

Lee, son, you're on tv, don't pick your nose. Bye now.

(From the preview: Tom the sot said "Fear is the mindkiller." I like him more now.



I love you, Bake Off. See you next week.

Comments

[neotoma]

Ugh... Australian spiders seem like the things out of nightmares.

I would love an imzy invite.

[st_aurafina]

I know - it's a freaking nightmare here, sometimes.

I've sent you an invite to the email I had for you - *******73 at gmail. If that's not the one you're using, let me know where to send it.

[neotoma]

Admittedly, the USA has some quite horrific arthropods, but it isn't even in the running for the worst.

Yes, that's still me.

[st_aurafina]

Yeah, you have those house centipede things, like giant silverfish, ughhhh. *shudders*

[neotoma]

Well, I was actually thinking of the giant vinegaroon, but yeah, centipedes are kind of creepy too.

[dolorosa_12]

Being the resident Australian in my house, I am the designated spider-remover, although given that I live in the UK, the spiders here don't worry me much.

I've been going back and forth on whether to join Imzy, and I've decided to just try it out so that I can get in with my preferred username before someone else does. If you have invite codes left, I would love one. I can send you my email address in a message here.

[st_aurafina]

Sure! PM me an address, and I will send one over.

[lurkingcat]

My mother-in-law keeps telling us that we should move to Australia so that I can stay warm. I keep saying BUT HUGE SPIDERS and she just doesn't believe me.

[st_aurafina]

You should move to Australia! It's not so bad! It's only mostly going to kill you!

[lurkingcat]

Is that like Mostly Dead?

[schneefink]

Oooh, cake! Maybe I'll watch GBBO. I've only seen a few random episodes so far.

[st_aurafina]

It's a lot of fun, and the kindest reality tv show I've ever watched. Also, cakes!

[vass]

That was a scary spider anecdote, but not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be from the Spiders Georg reference! Especially since you then went on to talk about GBBO, and the only combination of those two topics that I'm in favour of is cakes shaped like spiders, or like, the Women's Weekly cake book Miss Muffet cake.

I like that your autocorrect already understood Aaaaaaaaaa. That shows a good grasp of priorities on Siri's part.

Yes please, if you have any invites left, I would like one. My first name period my last name @outlook.com? (I mean harold.finch@outlook.com except with my name, not the word period.)

[st_aurafina]

Spider-cakes, spider-cakes!

I've sent you an invite, btw.

[vass]

Didn't show up. I've checked my spam trap in case Outlook thought it should not be counted, but nothing. :( I just did the "request invitation" thing, using a different email address in case that was the problem.

[st_aurafina]

I assumed your facebook name, that's what I sent it to - I hope that was right? Anyway, I've sent one in response to a request at the site by l*********@*******.com which I'm hoping was you.

I hope you've got one now, anyway. Let me know if it hasn't worked.

[vass]

I did mean my facebook name, yeah. (Just in case, thing people sometimes get wrong: my surname doesn't have an S on the end.) But the request I sent at the site was using an email address starting with a v. Sorry. /o\

[st_aurafina]

Okay,I had another go without the s on the end. And apologies for spelling it wrong IRL, ack. Hopefully that will go through to you now. *fingers crossed*

[vass]

It went through :D Thank you. I don't know how active I'll be on Imzy -- I find it very confusing -- but I have an account.

[torachan]

I found that if you click on the preview image of whatever article people are linking on imzy, that will take you directly to the article, whereas if you try to click on the header or body of the text, it just takes you to the imzy post.

[st_aurafina]

Omg, it does! Thank you!

[adafrog]

OMG fucking spider!!!

Izzy seems pretty inexplicable to me. Not that intuitive. But I do have a com there. lol

[st_aurafina]

We caught it today, yay, and now it lives outside, where all spiders should live.

[adafrog]

Exactly.

[ainsley]

Not understanding imzy yet, but I added you! I'm here.

[st_aurafina]

Added you back, yay!

[kindkit]

Yay for Bakeoff! I've been looking forward to the new season since the last one ended.

So far I'm totally charmed by Rav even though he's not the best baker, and by Benjamina, who is an ambitious and determined baker (making her whole showstopper twice!), but isn't temperamental and sulky like Candice. The most skillful bakers so far seem to be Jane and Selasi; I wonder if Selasi's unworried approach will continue to serve him or if it'll become a problem as the challenges get harder.

/already too invested in the Bakeoff.

[st_aurafina]

Benjamina is doing great! She's so calm, it's actually great to watch her working calmly and getting stuff done.

Selasi is flagging, I am disappoint. It's so interesting, trying to predict who will make it to the finals.

[lark_ascends]

I read out your spider story to my sis and mum. They laughed. I laughed, because you told it well.

But, I'd be having about the same reaction... *remembers crying hysterically on the phone to my parents about the huntsman in the bathroom of a motel I was staying at in Canberra when I was at a conference. It appeared above the shower on the the wall when I was in the MIDDLE OF WASHING MY HAIR. AAAAHHHHH!!! It then CAMPED OUT ON THE CLOSED BATHROOM DOOR*

Just watched GBBO. Loved it!! Love Selasi.

[st_aurafina]

See, I can admire a spider, and I don't honestly hate that they exist, but when they run at me, I think I go back to caveman instincts and lose my shit. They're so fast!

I love Selasi too but I don't know if he's going to make it to the finals, waaah!