Brainbox busted

[st_aurafina]

Brainbox update
I'm coming up out of a low, low place, enough that I want to post something. I'm not sure why exactly it happened, or more accurately, there's a number of causes and I'm not sure which one to blame: I stopped amitriptyline and maybe that low dose was doing more than I thought, there was a brief spasm of birthday madness in my family around the date of my lovely sister's birthday (my family does not do birthdays gracefully or well), my therapist went to a seminar so I was a free-range brain for the first six weeks of the year, and my not-lovely sister is getting married which is apparently a family secret that I am not to know but I do because nobody told my father this and he wrote it on the work roster.

Looking back at that list, I'm going to blame my family. (How is keeping a family member's wedding secret from half of us going to even work? I am so confused. Baby sister and I are estranged from her, neither of us have any interest in her wedding, but I don't see how it's functional for my mother to hide the details from me and baby sister. Is she shunning us? Are we meant to feel insulted? What are they going to tell the people who know all of us? What are they going to tell my aunt who is flying in from Canada? I feel like I should make some kind of statement of disavowal or something. IDK, how does estrangement even work? I just want to know what the party line is so I can stick to it and not cause more ruckus.)

Three good things
1. I read Adrian Tchaikovsky's Children of Time, which was amazing and made me love spiders. I mean, really, I love them now and think they are lovely. And science is lovely, and evolution is lovely, and science fiction is lovely.

It's a stand-alone novel, and part of the story supposes an evolutionary path for spiders on a terraformed planet. Australopithecine-level civilisation! Alchemist spiders! SPACE-GOING SPIDERS. It's really cleverly thought through, and does a lot with the differences that would arise from spiders: they can walk on ceilings, so spatial geometry of their architecture is very different, their technology develops around the concept of silk, they don't have vocal cords so their language is sign-based. It was awesome, and early on I had to google Adrian Tchaikovsky to find out how he wrote science so well. (Answer: zoology/psychology degree.) Part of the reason I clicked with it so hard, I think, is because I'm the kind of person who hangs onto my physiology textbook long after I'd dropped the subject, because I needed it to figure out stuff like how Vulcan haemoglobin would work. So, if you're that kind of person too, you'll probably like the book. Unless spiders are an absolute nope for you. (Whyyyy? They're so great!)


2. On Tuesday lilacsigil and I had a lovely conversation with her brother and SIL-to be, on speaker phone very early in the morning (they're London-based), while we cuddled in bed with cats. They're getting married in June, and we're not going to be able to make it to the UK for the event, so we called to talk in person instead of chatting, and it was really, really nice.

It was one of those moments in the past few weeks when I've had this weird but pleasant feeling of touching base with planet earth again. The first one was sitting at the kitchen bench while lilacsigil made coffee about a month ago, and I just felt everything slide into position: I was there, she was there, coffee was there, we were safe and well and in our home which is a good place. It was visceral, like I had landed safely. Like I didn't even realise how far I had drifted from myself for weeks until I metaphorically felt my feet touch the ground again. It was very strange to not feel those wheels of almost-panic going. Anyway, early morning to meet London timezone, very cosy, many cats.


3. Monster of the Week started up again! It's a webcomic rewatch of The X-Files which went on hiatus at the end of S4 while the artist had a baby. It's loving and wry, and I'm glad it's back. The Post-Modern Prometheus episode is drawn in colour! Monster of the Week: Season Five, Episode One.

This reminds me that in one of my posts that never got posted, I uploaded a snippet of chat that was X-Files relevant. Also Exorcist relevant, since I was quoting something from FFA about Tomas and Marcus:


Transcript:
st_aurafina: also this made me laugh: "comparing and contrasting Tomas' 'Workout Strength' and Marcus' 'Feral Cryptid Strength'
lilacsigil: lol feral cryptid, he so is, straight out of X-Files.
lilacsigil: "Scully, I've found the Jersey Devil!" "No, Mulder, that's that weird priest who has been missing for twenty years, I read about it in Catholic Skeptic Magazine."
st_aurafina: omg omg Scully! she so would.
lilacsigil: Mulder would still do a feral priest, just saying.



Clearing out the linkspam folder
- the_good_place! They're having a rewatch of S1. Ooh, there's a banner!
Join us at the_good_place!

- theexorcistfans, which seems to have a rolling writing challenge.

- Write Every Day is at ysilme this month. Everyone is welcome.

- Porn Battle anon meme! pb_anon

- ETA: The Agent Carter fic exchange, ssrconfidential, is running again! Planning post is here: 2018 SSR Confidential.

- The Bright Sessions podcast got optioned for a YA trilogy: Tor Teen Acquires The Bright Sessions Trilogy by Lauren Shippen.

- Keep your lawns short with this nifty guinea pig lawn mower.

- It's from a few Fridays ago, but stiill: Begin Friday With Swinton in a Tux. (I accept that I have a pretty specific women in suits kink.)

- I found this strangely fascinating. From bored panda: 10+ Times People Accidentally Found Their Doppelgängers In Museums

- From Meet Me At Mikes, a list of Australia charities taking crafty donations, like blankets and softies. Crafting for a cause: ace Australian charity crafting campaigns.

- I share this most years, for people who are inundated with zucchini/summer squash. Which is not us, unfortunately. We had a crappy year for squash, with lots of blossom rot. lilacsigil did google research, and possibly the soil is low in calcium, so we're putting lime down tomorrow. Anyway, here's my zucchini recipe collection. If it's tagged 'Imadethis', then I've tried it and found it worthy of making more than once.
My zucchini tag on Pinboard

This was the latest effort (with a gifted zucchini from one of the seedlings I started): Meatballs with Tomato and Zucchini
We used all beef and matched volume of zucchini (it was a massive zucchini - that was only half!), halved the parmesan, and we baked them instead of frying, for 30 minutes at about 160 C. They were fantastic.

Onward, onward towards a better brain.

Comments

[lilysea]

I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time of it lately. :( <3 <3 <3

I am glaring suspiciously and disapprovingly at the Australian Marriage Law Postal Survey on your behalf, because I would not be at ALL surprised if a lingering emotional hangover from *that* completely-unnecessary and cruel shitfight was exacerbating your Depression/Anxiety.

Edited to add: I would also not be at all surprised if the weirdness about your sister getting married (but don't tell anyone) had poked at / stirred up any bad emotions left over from the Australian Marriage Law Postal Survey...

[st_aurafina]

You know what? I think you're onto something there! *ponders*

Thank you for the insight! I guess I needed an external POV...

[miss_s_b]

Mmmm women in suits

[st_aurafina]

Right? My tumblr tag is "women in top hats" because yeah. That.

[schneefink]

Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time - hopefully it gets better soon.

"Children of Time" is such a good book :D I loved the spider civilization worldbuilding, with so many details that made perfect sense. The author is writing a sequel and I'm really looking forward to it.

[st_aurafina]

It was so good! The science was fantastic, and I loved the way there were similarities between human development (gender revolution, yay!) but fantastic differences too. Like, all the silk technology, and the ant colony/computing engines.

There's a sequel? Oh, wow!

[glinda]

I'm sorry you've been having a bad brain time lately - and I've missed seeing you around - but I'm glad you're beginning to do better.

Oh no, your poor squash, hopefully the lime will help. I was hoping to plant my spring onions last weekend but then snow was forecast and while I live in pretty much the only bit of the UK that didn't buried under a foot of snow this week, its been -7C this week so I might leave it a few weeks more.

[st_aurafina]

Yeah, hopefully the lime will help? We had plenty of flowers, but the fruit never matured. There's still a month or so before it will get too cold, so hopefully we can coax a few through to eating size.

Thanks - I've been reading, but in a very lurky way...

[iberiandoctor]

I'm sorry things have been rocky lately. Your family, geez :( Glad you seem to be feeling better, though, and that your garden is doing well, and that Swinton is as glorious as ever. And the Exorcist! I seem to have fallen a little in love, and I need a new fandom like I need a hole in the head, but the fic is so wonderful <3

[st_aurafina]

Yeah, my family is a can of worms, for sure...

The Exorcist is wonderful! So much theology and tenderly dressing your priestly brother in his vestments.

[frith_in_thorns]

Hey hey Adrian's books are really good! You should read the Shadows of the Apt series (10 books, first is Empire In Black And Gold), everyone is part-bug with bug traits and its got fantastic fantasy worldbuilding and industrial revolution and war and suuuuper awesome characters :D :D

[st_aurafina]

I was cruising for Shadows of the Apt, actually, because I could use a ten book series right now, but it's not available in audiobook yet. (Thought his website says in 2017 that they're recording, so hopefully soon.) I will have to suck it up and read a paper book.

He really hits my science kink, this guy.

[shanaqui]

I am sold on hurrying up and reading Children of Time! I've meant to read it since I saw Adrian Tchaikovsky on a panel.

[st_aurafina]

It was really good, and the science didn't make me flinch, which was awesome. I normally have to put the scientist part of me on hold when reading scifi, but not this time.

[kass]

Ugh, that is some family nonsense. I am so sorry. I have no wisdom to share but I am glad you are posting and I am glad your feet have returned to the ground.

[st_aurafina]

Yeah, I can handle the dramas with no problem, but the weird silence about it is really confusing. I really hate the "Don't let the neighbours know" mentality, if you know what I mean.

*hugs you*

[auroracloud]

I'm sorry you've been feeling bad lately. *hugs and sympathy* But I'm glad you got a lovely moment on Tuesday, it sounds really nice and comforting.

I mean to give Children of Time a try some time! I keep meaning to read it, but I'm a bit scared to because I'm terrified of spiders. But if I don't have to see them, just read about them, and they have a civilization and stuff, maybe it won't set off my phobia? I guess I'll only know if I try.

[st_aurafina]

There's a human storyline, too, so it's not 100% spiders all the time. Don't know if this helps? I found the fact that the spider sections were spider POV, and it made it easier to accept. I guess the pov was humanising the spiders? IDK!

[thisbluespirit]

*hugs*

I'm so sorry it's been so difficult lately. I had noticed you not posting and I know that tends to be a bad sign with you.

Anyway, the family stuff sounds deeply uncomfortable and painful and you have all my sympathy. *more hugs*

(But, wait, you love spiders now? That must be SOME BOOK. ;-D)

"Scully, I've found the Jersey Devil!" "No, Mulder, that's that weird priest who has been missing for twenty years, I read about it in Catholic Skeptic Magazine."

I don't know The Exorcist but lol yes Scully! <3

Appropos of nothing other than it is cheering, have a link to Peter Cushing in full Hammer Horror costume playing with a dandelion clock off set. (I reason whose day is not going to be improved by the existence of such a thing?)

[st_aurafina]

(But, wait, you love spiders now? That must be SOME BOOK. ;-D)

IT WAS PRETTY GREAT!! Actually, it was really good. Good spider POV - how can I hate them now I know they have feelings??

It's so good to know you have my back with amazing gifs like that dandelion clock set. <3

[netgirl_y2k]

Oof, I'm sorry you've been having a rough time of it, but happy you're starting to feel better.

Children of Time was grand, wasn't it? Apparently there's a movie adaptation in the early stages of development. I don't know how that would work but I'm here for it. I read Dogs of War by the same author recently, which while not as bug focused as his other books did feature an artificial super intelligence that is basically bees.

Adrian Tchaikovsky is one of those authors where I just want to open his head and see how his brain works. In the nicest possible way, of course.

[st_aurafina]

Children of Time was amazing! I don't know how a movie adaptation would work either, but I certainly would give it a try. I'm going to venture forth into his other books now, because he definitely does science the way I like it.

I just want to open his head and see how his brain works. In the nicest possible way, of course.

Weirdly I know exactly what you mean about this.

[dirty_diana]

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better! And ugh, families are so weird. I have that book on my hold list even though I am not sure how I feel about spiders?

[st_aurafina]

It's a big relief. Brain chemistry is weird, man. Weirder than families, even.

There's a human storyline as well, so it's not all spiders all the time. I found the spider pov made it easier than I thought to read.

[adafrog]

{{{hugs}}}
I'm glad you're getting better.
WTF with them trying to hide the wedding. Weird.

1. Sounds very cool.
2. :D
3.Looks interesting.

[st_aurafina]

Yeah, my family is pretty WTF at the best of times, and weddings are never the best of times.

*hugs*

[rydra_wong]

I'm really sorry to hear you've been in such a low place, and glad you're coming out of it.

[st_aurafina]

*hugs* Thanks - it's nice to be coming out of it.

[yuuago]

Sorry to hear about the brain stuff. And the crazy family stuff. Sounds like the sort of thing that'd give anybody trouble.

It's really nice to hear from you! <3

[st_aurafina]

*hugs* Thank you! It's nice to be posting again, and I hope when the fire thing has settled, I can keep it up.

[vass]

It's good to see you again, I've missed you. I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time. *pets your brain*

lilysea's point about the confluence of the fucking survey and your family sounds plausible from here. :(

- Keep your lawns short with this nifty guinea pig lawn mower.

We did that when I was a kid! Back when my parents' house had a lawn.

You're the second person I've seen reccing that Tchaikovsky book this week. I'll have to check it out.

[st_aurafina]

*hugs you* I am blaming the survey for everything right now. Even the damn bushfires.

[jb_slasher]

<3

[st_aurafina]

*hugs*

[kore]

I'm so sorry you were feeling crappy ('free range brain' is great) but hurrah for feeling more settled and like things are OK.

Also, WTF YOUR FAMILY. Secret weddings estrangement work rota wtf?

[st_aurafina]

Also, WTF YOUR FAMILY. Secret weddings estrangement work rota wtf?

The wedding is so secret not even my dad knows it's a secret. It's really weird. I've had it independently confirmed by my therapist that it's weird, which actually makes me feel a bit better.

*hugs you*

[naye]

Yay Bright Sessions! :D

[st_aurafina]

Yes, it's really exciting!!

[summerstorm]

omg a small resurrection of the porn battle?!!!

I hope you feel better. I've been in a similar bad place because of family, though a very different context, and I don't know that I'll be able to get out of it before June. But it might get better as the weather does. That's what I'm hoping for.

[st_aurafina]

omg a small resurrection of the porn battle?!!!

Yes!! Albeit a quieter one, I think

[fred_mouse]

Sympathies on brain and family -- as someone whose both also suck, I totally get where you are coming from.

Thank you for the review of Children of Time. I've been seeing Tchaikovsky's work around, and not picking it up, because why buy/borrow a book from random bloke when I can buy/borrow one by random sheila (which is how I've discovered Christina Henry, Maggie Stiefvater, Natasha Pullman. Also, Foz Meadows, except not-a-sheila*). But this sounds very much my thing. I loved A Deepness in the Sky, which was also approximately a spider based alien, and have frequently wished for more.

* dammit, we need a Strine word to indicate the gender non-binary.

[st_aurafina]

I really enjoyed the Tchaikovsky book - I am definitely checking out his other works.

[senmut]

Sending hugs. I feel detached from a lot of things right now, but wish you much goodness.

[st_aurafina]

*hugs you tight*

[monanotlisa]

Thanks for posting, babe. Much love to you. (GRR, BRAINS.)

[st_aurafina]

Brains, man! Why do we need them? (They're so sexy, though. Brains.)

[kaffy_r]

I am glad to hear that you're coming out of a dark place. Those places, and the black dogs in them, keep coming back to try to get us - and sucky family dynamics, the awful postal survey, all of that ... of course it would hit you. You're incredibly strong, to be able to navigate out and away from that. It's good to see you again.

(Although, sweet lord, spiders? I'm so sorry; I trust you when you say it's amazing, but I wouldn't even get far enough into the story to nope on out again. In my head? "Two legs good. Four legs good. (No legs good, too; snakes are cool.) Six legs bad. Eight legs worse." Mind you I no longer kill the multi-legged on sight. I've come to appreciate them in the circle of life, thanks to BB, and I have even, upon occasion, saved some of the spiders that come into our place, because they should live. But ... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa - did I say that out loud?)

[st_aurafina]

I trust you when you say it's amazing, but I wouldn't even get far enough into the story to nope on out again.

Seriously, I was surprised at how effective the spider POV was at disarming (dis-legging?) my fear.

[reeby10]

That book sounds really interesting! I'm def going to have to check it out. I'm also really tempted by the Good Place rewatch even though I only finished watching s1 like three weeks ago lol

[st_aurafina]

It was so interesting! I would definitely recommend it.