Fic: "Agony Aunt " (Remus/Sirius, pg)
May. 17th, 2006 09:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
st_aurafinaTitle: Agony Aunt
Pairings: Remus/Sirius
Word count: 2049
Rating: pg, for kissing, and implied (offscreen) sex
Disclaimer: Characters belong to JKR. Not to me.
Author's notes: Set in London, after Remus and Sirius have finished their last year at Hogwarts. Posted to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
remusxsirius. Thank you to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lilacsigil, my very patient beta.
Dear Aunt Agatha,
Since I've finished school, I've found it quite hard to make new friends. I'm a quiet person, although I long to meet someone who will be my one-and-only.
A handsome young wizard has moved into the flat downstairs, and I would like to get to know him, but don't really know how to start. Although we see each other often in passing, it just never seems like the right time to introduce myself.
How do I tell if the time is right to approach someone?
Too Shy
Dear Too Shy,
Although you are nervous about approaching this wizard, it's likely that having moved into a new building, he would certainly welcome a friendly word from a neighbour. Perhaps a welcoming gift would be appreciated – a useful plant, a ward for the door, something small and handy. This will help get a conversation started, and I'm sure the rest will follow easily.
Wishing you the best,
Aunt Agatha
- This is just the thing, Remus, but would you mind working in the product of the week? It's "Mrs Scour's Self Mixing Flour", maybe you could suggest the lass bakes her sweetheart a cake?
Cheers! Ed
Regent's Park, August 1978
"It's called 'Moonlight Mist'." Sirius flipped through the colour chips, and held one up, "Here. It's a cool neutral, whatever that means."
"It sounds hideous," said Remus, "and it looks beige." He tore pieces of bread off his sandwich, and threw them to the pigeons, but the pigeons stayed well away, milling around every other park bench but his. He hunched into his coat, despite the warm afternoon sun.
"I don't understand a word this man is talking about. If it's beige, why don't they call it beige?" Sirius threw the paint-chips in the rubbish bin, and grabbed Remus's sandwich. "I'll just move into your bedsit, instead. We can share."
Sirius took a bite of Remus's sandwich, then grimaced and spat the dry corned beef onto the pavement. At the next bench, a muggle child pointed at Sirius's bad manners with delight, and was swiftly ushered away by a nanny. "God! Is that landlady trying to kill you?"
"She's very kind. She hasn't had anyone to talk to for a long time." said Remus, taking the sandwiches back, and neatly folding the greaseproof paper around the doorstep slices of bread. "And she doesn’t ask difficult questions."
"Look, Remus, I don't understand why you're being so stubborn; you've lost two jobs in two months." Sirius took the sandwiches back, and threw them in the rubbish. "This isn't school. Teachers aren’t going to cover for you every time there's a full moon." He took Remus's hand, but Remus snatched it away before anyone could see. "You shouldn't be ashamed to ask for help. And you shouldn't be paying rent to some crazy old muggle woman."
Remus stood up.
"If you're going to ask me again to move in with you, please don't." His voice was quiet and angry, the syllables clipped. "I'll thank you to know that I have a job, and it pays quite well. I won't be your kept man. And I hardly think I'd be welcome to come and go around Belgrave Square."
Sirius stood up too, put his hands on either side of Remus's face, and pressed his lips to Remus's mouth. The park was suddenly silent, as people either stared or pretended not to see.
"You're welcome anywhere I am," said Sirius. "And I defy anyone to say otherwise."
Dear Aunt Agatha,
My husband and I live in a decent area, with other quiet wizards of good character. Recently, a new neighbour has been causing havoc with his strange nocturnal comings and goings.
He is otherwise a pleasant young man, so we were very surprised to hear loud banging and clattering, coming from his flat above us, on a regular basis.
We understand that some spell work is best done at night, but must these events go on all night? Every night?
We don't wish to be rude, but we do need our sleep. Is there a polite way to ask him to desist?
Need Spell of Sleep
Dear Need Spell of Sleep,
It's a new and uncertain time when a young person moves into his own home, and leads an independent life. You can be sure that despite his full and varied night life, he's probably pretty uncertain about things, and would appreciate a friendly word or even an invitation for a home-cooked meal. I'm sure that once you get to know this young man, you'll be able to let him know that discretion is important when sharing living space.
Wishing you a sound night's sleep,
Aunt Agatha
- Remus, I know I asked you to spice things up a bit, but too much "late night banging" might frighten our older readers away. Take it easy, old chap!
Just a thought, Ed.
Kendrick Mews, off Belgrave Square, September 1978
Sirius rolled across the rumpled drop-sheet, and rested his chin on Remus's hip. "So, what's this new job all about?"
Remus looked as lofty as possible, given the circumstances.
"It's a secret." He stretched his arms out, then curled one around Sirius's shoulder. "Actually, it's working out quite well. I've made it through one full moon, and I'm still employed." Superstitious, he reached out and touched the parquetry, where they had wrenched the drop-sheet away.
Sirius's flat was chilly, and smelled of new paint. Moonlight Mist, as it turned out, was a kind of satiny silver, meant to be austere and timeless. Sirius had somewhat ruined the decorator's plans of restrained elegance by slapping up Pink Floyd posters as soon as the paint was dry.
"I should have a party, or something, when the painters are finished." Sirius leaned his head against Remus's hand, to let Remus play with his fashionably long hair. "If they ever let James and Lily out to play, poor things. Who'd be an Auror?"
Remus curled the long dark hair around his fingers.
"I heard from Peter yesterday. He has a girlfriend, you could invite her too."
Sirius took Remus's hand from his hair, and breathed across the upturned wrist.
"What kind of girl finds Peter Pettigrew the man of her dreams?" He kissed the palm, and each of the fingertips in turn.
"Don't be cruel," said Remus, "Mildryth sounds like a nice girl. Lives in his building." He closed his eyes and curled his fingers around Sirius's jaw.
"There's ink on your fingers," Sirius said suddenly. He held Remus's hand up, palm outwards, showing the print reversed on the fingertips. He sniffed the black ink and screwed up his nose. "Printers ink, too." He sat up straight, and pinned Remus's hand at an uncomfortable angle, trying to read the words in reverse. " … really don't… wrong spell… afraid to…" He grinned. "Are you working at a bookbinders? Is that your new job? Brilliant job for you!"
Remus wrenched his arm away and clambered to his feet.
"Something like that," he said huffily, and gathered his clothes up from the floor. "Do you mind if I have a bath before I go?"
A predatory look swept over Sirius's face. "Not if I can watch."
Dear Aunt Agatha,
My daughter is falling in with a bad lot. I believe she's involved with someone quite unpleasant, but she won't hear a word against him.
Since she's moved to London, she talks about ideas that just aren't her own. I've heard from some of her Hogwarts friends, and she's said some quite cruel things about their families. They say she seems full of airs and graces, and holds herself above others, not at all like the kindly young witch she was in school.
I know she's been going to parties. I'm also worried that she could be using herbs that are harmful to her health.
Since I confronted her about her new boyfriend, she's been very secretive. She won't tell me who her new friends are, and what they get up to.
How can I win her trust back? I just want her to be safe.
Mother of Bewitched
Dear Mother of Bewitched,
It's tempting for us to think that our young ones are constantly in danger, once they strike out for themselves. And for their part, they think that we are stifling their independence. It's important that you allow your daughter to discover the world around her, but it's also important that she does it in a safe way.
She needs to respect your wishes, of course, but she needs to see home as a safe place to go in times of trouble. And it is vital that she understand the boundaries of good and polite behaviour.
Why not meet with her in a neutral environment, neither your house or hers? Perhaps a restaurant or café. Give her a chance to explain how she feels, and be prepared to be open minded. If you are calm, and show her that you are prepared to listen, she will soon come to trust you again.
Wishing you and your daughter the best,
Aunt Agatha
- Remus, excellent idea with the restaurant. Can I suggest you mention Le Lutin Rose? It takes months to get a reservation, but a favour will probably help my case.
Appreciate it! Ed.
The Offices of the Daily Prophet, September 1978
Remus liked to take his lunch break up on the roof. Every office in the Daily Prophet reeked of ink, and the presses, though magical, were far from silent. The lunchroom was the domain of the serious journalist: it had been made clear that it was not a place for him. He eyed his sandwiches warily, lifting up one slab of bread to examine the dark and lumpy paste. Fish? Liver?
Suddenly, Remus heard footsteps on the access ladder leading to the roof. A dark and shaggy head appeared over the edge of the bricks, followed by the rest of Sirius with a newspaper under one arm, and two plastic containers of takeaway food.
Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He wasn't sure how or why Sirius was here, and he was ready to be offended at any jibes. Then the aroma of Indian spices reached him. He sniffed appreciatively.
"Curry?"
"I come to the rescue, bearing vindaloo!" cried Sirius. "They told me downstairs that you were probably up here."
They sat companionably on a low wall, and ate with plastic forks. Sirius was smug and silent.
"So, you've found me out." Remus said, casually, with a sideways glance. "How?" Despite feeling defensive about his new job, it was nonetheless flattering to have been so enticing a mystery that Sirius had sought him out at work.
Sirius shoveled curry into his mouth ungracefully.
"Careful detective work," he said through a mouthful of chicken, "Planning and investigation."
"You followed me this morning, didn't you?" It was Remus's turn to look a little smug.
Sirius shook out the newspaper, with an inscrutable expression.
"Planning and investigation. Have you read this today?"
Remus shook his head.
"I hear enough about death and disappearances in the newsroom everyday. Ironic, really. I get my newspaper for free, but all I want to read these days is the lunar chart and the crossword."
Sirius turned to the Witch Living section. "Well, now here's something interesting. 'Dear Aunt Agatha, my boyfriend is incredibly sexy, and I want to tear off all his clothes right here on the roof and ravish him in front of a million muggles. Signed, Desperately Turned On'"
Remus plucked the paper out of his hands and dropped it on the ground, the pages scattering in the gentle breeze. He slipped his fingers between two buttons of Sirius's shirt.
"Dear Desperately Turned On, though the season for outdoor lovemaking is still with us, perhaps the roof of the Daily Prophet is not the most discreet place for a fling." He tugged Sirius to his feet by his shirt. "Why not consider a pokey little office for a worktime frolic? Yours in anticipation, Aunt Agatha."
The pages of the Prophet blew about them as they made their way to the ladder, arms caught around each other. On the front page, a small photograph of Mildryth Murthwaite smiled shyly beneath the headline Another Half-Blood Missing.
Pairings: Remus/Sirius
Word count: 2049
Rating: pg, for kissing, and implied (offscreen) sex
Disclaimer: Characters belong to JKR. Not to me.
Author's notes: Set in London, after Remus and Sirius have finished their last year at Hogwarts. Posted to
remusxsirius. Thank you to lilacsigil, my very patient beta. Dear Aunt Agatha,
Since I've finished school, I've found it quite hard to make new friends. I'm a quiet person, although I long to meet someone who will be my one-and-only.
A handsome young wizard has moved into the flat downstairs, and I would like to get to know him, but don't really know how to start. Although we see each other often in passing, it just never seems like the right time to introduce myself.
How do I tell if the time is right to approach someone?
Too Shy
Dear Too Shy,
Although you are nervous about approaching this wizard, it's likely that having moved into a new building, he would certainly welcome a friendly word from a neighbour. Perhaps a welcoming gift would be appreciated – a useful plant, a ward for the door, something small and handy. This will help get a conversation started, and I'm sure the rest will follow easily.
Wishing you the best,
Aunt Agatha
- This is just the thing, Remus, but would you mind working in the product of the week? It's "Mrs Scour's Self Mixing Flour", maybe you could suggest the lass bakes her sweetheart a cake?
Cheers! Ed
Regent's Park, August 1978
"It's called 'Moonlight Mist'." Sirius flipped through the colour chips, and held one up, "Here. It's a cool neutral, whatever that means."
"It sounds hideous," said Remus, "and it looks beige." He tore pieces of bread off his sandwich, and threw them to the pigeons, but the pigeons stayed well away, milling around every other park bench but his. He hunched into his coat, despite the warm afternoon sun.
"I don't understand a word this man is talking about. If it's beige, why don't they call it beige?" Sirius threw the paint-chips in the rubbish bin, and grabbed Remus's sandwich. "I'll just move into your bedsit, instead. We can share."
Sirius took a bite of Remus's sandwich, then grimaced and spat the dry corned beef onto the pavement. At the next bench, a muggle child pointed at Sirius's bad manners with delight, and was swiftly ushered away by a nanny. "God! Is that landlady trying to kill you?"
"She's very kind. She hasn't had anyone to talk to for a long time." said Remus, taking the sandwiches back, and neatly folding the greaseproof paper around the doorstep slices of bread. "And she doesn’t ask difficult questions."
"Look, Remus, I don't understand why you're being so stubborn; you've lost two jobs in two months." Sirius took the sandwiches back, and threw them in the rubbish. "This isn't school. Teachers aren’t going to cover for you every time there's a full moon." He took Remus's hand, but Remus snatched it away before anyone could see. "You shouldn't be ashamed to ask for help. And you shouldn't be paying rent to some crazy old muggle woman."
Remus stood up.
"If you're going to ask me again to move in with you, please don't." His voice was quiet and angry, the syllables clipped. "I'll thank you to know that I have a job, and it pays quite well. I won't be your kept man. And I hardly think I'd be welcome to come and go around Belgrave Square."
Sirius stood up too, put his hands on either side of Remus's face, and pressed his lips to Remus's mouth. The park was suddenly silent, as people either stared or pretended not to see.
"You're welcome anywhere I am," said Sirius. "And I defy anyone to say otherwise."
Dear Aunt Agatha,
My husband and I live in a decent area, with other quiet wizards of good character. Recently, a new neighbour has been causing havoc with his strange nocturnal comings and goings.
He is otherwise a pleasant young man, so we were very surprised to hear loud banging and clattering, coming from his flat above us, on a regular basis.
We understand that some spell work is best done at night, but must these events go on all night? Every night?
We don't wish to be rude, but we do need our sleep. Is there a polite way to ask him to desist?
Need Spell of Sleep
Dear Need Spell of Sleep,
It's a new and uncertain time when a young person moves into his own home, and leads an independent life. You can be sure that despite his full and varied night life, he's probably pretty uncertain about things, and would appreciate a friendly word or even an invitation for a home-cooked meal. I'm sure that once you get to know this young man, you'll be able to let him know that discretion is important when sharing living space.
Wishing you a sound night's sleep,
Aunt Agatha
- Remus, I know I asked you to spice things up a bit, but too much "late night banging" might frighten our older readers away. Take it easy, old chap!
Just a thought, Ed.
Kendrick Mews, off Belgrave Square, September 1978
Sirius rolled across the rumpled drop-sheet, and rested his chin on Remus's hip. "So, what's this new job all about?"
Remus looked as lofty as possible, given the circumstances.
"It's a secret." He stretched his arms out, then curled one around Sirius's shoulder. "Actually, it's working out quite well. I've made it through one full moon, and I'm still employed." Superstitious, he reached out and touched the parquetry, where they had wrenched the drop-sheet away.
Sirius's flat was chilly, and smelled of new paint. Moonlight Mist, as it turned out, was a kind of satiny silver, meant to be austere and timeless. Sirius had somewhat ruined the decorator's plans of restrained elegance by slapping up Pink Floyd posters as soon as the paint was dry.
"I should have a party, or something, when the painters are finished." Sirius leaned his head against Remus's hand, to let Remus play with his fashionably long hair. "If they ever let James and Lily out to play, poor things. Who'd be an Auror?"
Remus curled the long dark hair around his fingers.
"I heard from Peter yesterday. He has a girlfriend, you could invite her too."
Sirius took Remus's hand from his hair, and breathed across the upturned wrist.
"What kind of girl finds Peter Pettigrew the man of her dreams?" He kissed the palm, and each of the fingertips in turn.
"Don't be cruel," said Remus, "Mildryth sounds like a nice girl. Lives in his building." He closed his eyes and curled his fingers around Sirius's jaw.
"There's ink on your fingers," Sirius said suddenly. He held Remus's hand up, palm outwards, showing the print reversed on the fingertips. He sniffed the black ink and screwed up his nose. "Printers ink, too." He sat up straight, and pinned Remus's hand at an uncomfortable angle, trying to read the words in reverse. " … really don't… wrong spell… afraid to…" He grinned. "Are you working at a bookbinders? Is that your new job? Brilliant job for you!"
Remus wrenched his arm away and clambered to his feet.
"Something like that," he said huffily, and gathered his clothes up from the floor. "Do you mind if I have a bath before I go?"
A predatory look swept over Sirius's face. "Not if I can watch."
Dear Aunt Agatha,
My daughter is falling in with a bad lot. I believe she's involved with someone quite unpleasant, but she won't hear a word against him.
Since she's moved to London, she talks about ideas that just aren't her own. I've heard from some of her Hogwarts friends, and she's said some quite cruel things about their families. They say she seems full of airs and graces, and holds herself above others, not at all like the kindly young witch she was in school.
I know she's been going to parties. I'm also worried that she could be using herbs that are harmful to her health.
Since I confronted her about her new boyfriend, she's been very secretive. She won't tell me who her new friends are, and what they get up to.
How can I win her trust back? I just want her to be safe.
Mother of Bewitched
Dear Mother of Bewitched,
It's tempting for us to think that our young ones are constantly in danger, once they strike out for themselves. And for their part, they think that we are stifling their independence. It's important that you allow your daughter to discover the world around her, but it's also important that she does it in a safe way.
She needs to respect your wishes, of course, but she needs to see home as a safe place to go in times of trouble. And it is vital that she understand the boundaries of good and polite behaviour.
Why not meet with her in a neutral environment, neither your house or hers? Perhaps a restaurant or café. Give her a chance to explain how she feels, and be prepared to be open minded. If you are calm, and show her that you are prepared to listen, she will soon come to trust you again.
Wishing you and your daughter the best,
Aunt Agatha
- Remus, excellent idea with the restaurant. Can I suggest you mention Le Lutin Rose? It takes months to get a reservation, but a favour will probably help my case.
Appreciate it! Ed.
The Offices of the Daily Prophet, September 1978
Remus liked to take his lunch break up on the roof. Every office in the Daily Prophet reeked of ink, and the presses, though magical, were far from silent. The lunchroom was the domain of the serious journalist: it had been made clear that it was not a place for him. He eyed his sandwiches warily, lifting up one slab of bread to examine the dark and lumpy paste. Fish? Liver?
Suddenly, Remus heard footsteps on the access ladder leading to the roof. A dark and shaggy head appeared over the edge of the bricks, followed by the rest of Sirius with a newspaper under one arm, and two plastic containers of takeaway food.
Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He wasn't sure how or why Sirius was here, and he was ready to be offended at any jibes. Then the aroma of Indian spices reached him. He sniffed appreciatively.
"Curry?"
"I come to the rescue, bearing vindaloo!" cried Sirius. "They told me downstairs that you were probably up here."
They sat companionably on a low wall, and ate with plastic forks. Sirius was smug and silent.
"So, you've found me out." Remus said, casually, with a sideways glance. "How?" Despite feeling defensive about his new job, it was nonetheless flattering to have been so enticing a mystery that Sirius had sought him out at work.
Sirius shoveled curry into his mouth ungracefully.
"Careful detective work," he said through a mouthful of chicken, "Planning and investigation."
"You followed me this morning, didn't you?" It was Remus's turn to look a little smug.
Sirius shook out the newspaper, with an inscrutable expression.
"Planning and investigation. Have you read this today?"
Remus shook his head.
"I hear enough about death and disappearances in the newsroom everyday. Ironic, really. I get my newspaper for free, but all I want to read these days is the lunar chart and the crossword."
Sirius turned to the Witch Living section. "Well, now here's something interesting. 'Dear Aunt Agatha, my boyfriend is incredibly sexy, and I want to tear off all his clothes right here on the roof and ravish him in front of a million muggles. Signed, Desperately Turned On'"
Remus plucked the paper out of his hands and dropped it on the ground, the pages scattering in the gentle breeze. He slipped his fingers between two buttons of Sirius's shirt.
"Dear Desperately Turned On, though the season for outdoor lovemaking is still with us, perhaps the roof of the Daily Prophet is not the most discreet place for a fling." He tugged Sirius to his feet by his shirt. "Why not consider a pokey little office for a worktime frolic? Yours in anticipation, Aunt Agatha."
The pages of the Prophet blew about them as they made their way to the ladder, arms caught around each other. On the front page, a small photograph of Mildryth Murthwaite smiled shyly beneath the headline Another Half-Blood Missing.
