Okay, this is happening
Oct. 12th, 2018 11:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
st_aurafinaI'm making a post.
Things are okay. Just okay, though, and I've been doing a lot of mental health crochet to keep my head above water. I don't know if escitalopram is the one for me - I am externally very level but internally very weird - but at the same time, changing takes so much energy that I don't have right now.
Work has been hectic. I think all the warranties expired simultaneously on every piece of technology, and it's been thing after thing after thing and cost after cost after cost. And there have been staff issues to sort out, with people resigning and unresigning. We had to have a staff meeting about the issues. I'm not the most socially deft, so when people are asking ME what they should do in uncomfortable social situations it gives me the willies. I think things are settling down now? *looks nervously over shoulder*
On the other hand, I made seventy six little baby hats for the Itty Bitty Giant Hat Drive in September:
[76 multicoloured crocheted hats and bonnets on a wooden table]
They get donated to hospitals all around Australia. It's very satisfying to be able to make three or four a night.
I really liked that lyrics title meme that was going around a while back, so in lieu of actual content, I thought I'd do that. At the very least, it should make an interesting playlist of sorts.
1. Semper Clara (The Exorcist TV, Verity, G)
Cantus // Connie Dover
Ochon! My eyes are blind,
Ochon! My heart is wrung,
Stella Maris,
Semper Clara,
Rosa Munde,
Res Miranda,
Misterium Mirabile
This fic is about Verity questioning what faith is, when you've seen actual demonic phenomena, so I wanted something that was quasi religious for the title. I think Verity would want things to be always clear. Also this track is from the original Celtic Women album. Let's all party like it's 1995. (I think because I'm the child of fiercely lapsed Catholics, I get fascinated by all the mysticism. Or I used to, back in 1995.)
See the Air I Breathe (Winter Soldier, Steve/Natasha, Teen)
Winter Bird // Aurora
My tears are always frozen
I can see the air I breathe
But my fingers painting pictures
On the grass in front of me
It's deep, because it's like, freezy and sad. Poor freezy and sad Bucky. He's not even in this fic, which is a triple drabble for this year's![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
multifandomdrabble.
Blue Skies Overhead // You Still See the Tear (Person of Interest, John Reese/Joss Carter, Teen)
The Sweetest Thing / U2
Blue eyed boy meets a brown-eyed girl
(Oh, the sweetest thing)
You can sew it up
But you still see the tear
(Oh, the sweetest thing)
Baby's got blue skies overhead
But in this I'm a rain cloud
You know we got a stormy kind of love
"You can sew it up but you still see the tear" sums up a John/Joss relationship for me - I don't think they're the kind to freak out after one of them makes an emotional blunder. They're both really good at mending and making do.
Powerful with a Little Bit of Tender (Person of Interest, Root/Shaw, M)
Make Me Feel // Janelle Monae
It's like I'm powerful with a little bit of tender,
An emotional, sexual bender,
Mess me up, yeah, but no one does it better,
There's nothin' better
It just seems very Root/Shaw to me, you know.
The More You See, the Less You Know (Person of Interest, Harold and John, G)
The more you see, the less you know
The less you find out as you go
I knew much more then than I do now
DAN'S RULE OF TITLES #1: WHEN IN DOUBT, U2 LYRICS. (Also, it's got that tentative, fumbling feel of two very bruised people starting a relationship.)
I'm More than Willing to Offer Myself (Person of Interest, John/Harold, Explicit)
The finger of blame has turned upon itself,
And I'm more than willing to offer myself,
Do you want my presence or need my help?
Who knows where that might lead?
DAN'S RULE OF TITLES #2: WHEN IN DOUBT, CROWDED HOUSE LYRICS.
I chose this title while I was writing the fic, then forgot which Crowded House song it came from, andlilacsigil and I had to sing it to try to figure it out. Dorky impromptu karaoke with a lot of humming and 'It kind of goes up high before the line?"
Yuletide sign-ups are open. I don't know how to process that information. The year has gone so quickly.
Things are okay. Just okay, though, and I've been doing a lot of mental health crochet to keep my head above water. I don't know if escitalopram is the one for me - I am externally very level but internally very weird - but at the same time, changing takes so much energy that I don't have right now.
Work has been hectic. I think all the warranties expired simultaneously on every piece of technology, and it's been thing after thing after thing and cost after cost after cost. And there have been staff issues to sort out, with people resigning and unresigning. We had to have a staff meeting about the issues. I'm not the most socially deft, so when people are asking ME what they should do in uncomfortable social situations it gives me the willies. I think things are settling down now? *looks nervously over shoulder*
On the other hand, I made seventy six little baby hats for the Itty Bitty Giant Hat Drive in September:
[76 multicoloured crocheted hats and bonnets on a wooden table]
They get donated to hospitals all around Australia. It's very satisfying to be able to make three or four a night.
I really liked that lyrics title meme that was going around a while back, so in lieu of actual content, I thought I'd do that. At the very least, it should make an interesting playlist of sorts.
1. Semper Clara (The Exorcist TV, Verity, G)
Cantus // Connie Dover
Ochon! My eyes are blind,
Ochon! My heart is wrung,
Stella Maris,
Semper Clara,
Rosa Munde,
Res Miranda,
Misterium Mirabile
This fic is about Verity questioning what faith is, when you've seen actual demonic phenomena, so I wanted something that was quasi religious for the title. I think Verity would want things to be always clear. Also this track is from the original Celtic Women album. Let's all party like it's 1995. (I think because I'm the child of fiercely lapsed Catholics, I get fascinated by all the mysticism. Or I used to, back in 1995.)
See the Air I Breathe (Winter Soldier, Steve/Natasha, Teen)
Winter Bird // Aurora
My tears are always frozen
I can see the air I breathe
But my fingers painting pictures
On the grass in front of me
It's deep, because it's like, freezy and sad. Poor freezy and sad Bucky. He's not even in this fic, which is a triple drabble for this year's
multifandomdrabble.Blue Skies Overhead // You Still See the Tear (Person of Interest, John Reese/Joss Carter, Teen)
The Sweetest Thing / U2
Blue eyed boy meets a brown-eyed girl
(Oh, the sweetest thing)
You can sew it up
But you still see the tear
(Oh, the sweetest thing)
Baby's got blue skies overhead
But in this I'm a rain cloud
You know we got a stormy kind of love
"You can sew it up but you still see the tear" sums up a John/Joss relationship for me - I don't think they're the kind to freak out after one of them makes an emotional blunder. They're both really good at mending and making do.
Powerful with a Little Bit of Tender (Person of Interest, Root/Shaw, M)
Make Me Feel // Janelle Monae
It's like I'm powerful with a little bit of tender,
An emotional, sexual bender,
Mess me up, yeah, but no one does it better,
There's nothin' better
It just seems very Root/Shaw to me, you know.
The More You See, the Less You Know (Person of Interest, Harold and John, G)
The more you see, the less you know
The less you find out as you go
I knew much more then than I do now
DAN'S RULE OF TITLES #1: WHEN IN DOUBT, U2 LYRICS. (Also, it's got that tentative, fumbling feel of two very bruised people starting a relationship.)
I'm More than Willing to Offer Myself (Person of Interest, John/Harold, Explicit)
The finger of blame has turned upon itself,
And I'm more than willing to offer myself,
Do you want my presence or need my help?
Who knows where that might lead?
DAN'S RULE OF TITLES #2: WHEN IN DOUBT, CROWDED HOUSE LYRICS.
I chose this title while I was writing the fic, then forgot which Crowded House song it came from, and
lilacsigil and I had to sing it to try to figure it out. Dorky impromptu karaoke with a lot of humming and 'It kind of goes up high before the line?" Yuletide sign-ups are open. I don't know how to process that information. The year has gone so quickly.
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Date: 2018-10-12 12:43 am (UTC)Glad to hear things are okay, even if it's just okay. <3
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Date: 2018-10-12 01:20 am (UTC)Thank you - hopefully things are getting better, but at least they're okay for now.
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Date: 2018-10-12 01:31 am (UTC)Aww, I loved that SteveNat fic. Also "Make Me Feel" as Root/Shaw, YES.
Yuletide sign-ups are open. I don't know how to process that information. The year has gone so quickly.
It's fucking terrifying. It's like I turn around and three years go by.
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Date: 2018-10-12 03:24 am (UTC)I keep thinking Easter is around the corner, it's very strange and confusing to my poor old brain.
Ah well. Best I can do is relax and let the breeze from the passing years fan my face, I suppose.
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Date: 2018-10-12 01:39 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2018-10-12 02:55 am (UTC)I don't understand the meme? I must have missed the original explanation. Are the stories about the song lyrics, or something else?
I hope work gets back on an even keel.
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Date: 2018-10-12 05:05 am (UTC)IIRC, the meme was to link fics you've written with lyrics for titles? IDK, I might be remembering wrong...
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Date: 2018-10-12 06:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-12 03:14 am (UTC)I'm glad things are at least okay with you right now - I sure hope that trend continues, or even better improve! I mean, it would be optimal if they were fabulous, but you're managing and that's the important bit
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Date: 2018-10-12 05:06 am (UTC)Yeah, managing is the important part. I can work on the being great part as I go.
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Date: 2018-10-12 05:18 am (UTC)I'm so impressed with the hats. 76 in one month! And they're all adorable. I love the different styles and colours, especially the rainbows.
changing takes so much energy that I don't have right now.
I know that feel. :( Tapering is the worst.
I think things are settling down now? *looks nervously over shoulder*
Here's hoping.
I thought of you at the pharmacist's this week. They were having drama too. It was a little independent pharmacy across the road from my GP, and while the pharmacist was filling my T script, the manager (the pharmacist's wife, I think) was having a loud bilingual phone argument with another employee, who apparently had been overpaid by 17 hours and disagreed that this was the case. She kept repeating, diciassette! Eventually she told her to come check with Silvana tomorrow, she has the paperwork. I would not want to be Silvana.
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Date: 2018-10-13 01:40 am (UTC)I think I want to go back to desvenlafaxine - it was better for the internal dialogue and self-esteem. But on the other hand, I wasn't so good externally on that, so IDK. I just want to wave my hand and my brain will work right.
I feel for people running city pharmacies - the rosters must be a nightmare. I've got maybe twenty employees all up and the roster is a major monthly undertaking for poor
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Date: 2018-10-14 10:23 am (UTC)It's good to see you. ♥
I think I want to go back to desvenlafaxine - it was better for the internal dialogue and self-esteem. But on the other hand, I wasn't so good externally on that, so IDK.
I'm still on it, and am consolidating to two tablets a day instead of four (same total dose.)
I just want to wave my hand and my brain will work right.
Yeah. *sigh*
I feel for people running city pharmacies - the rosters must be a nightmare. I've got maybe twenty employees all up and the roster is a major monthly undertaking for poor lilacsigil.
*nodnod* It sounds it. The same sort of problem as fic exchange assignments, but every month and with money on the line. Good luck with finding the right software.
Silvana probably has nerves of steel, I will bet, otherwise they'd have gone to her first.
It was kind of funny: things were pretty tense and cross while the manager was on the phone, but immediately after she hung up, she muttered wryly "and of course she didn't admit she'd been overpaid. Well, would you?" and then a moment later she and the other two staff were deciding what they wanted to get for lunch (souvlaki, as it turned out.)
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Date: 2018-10-12 12:02 pm (UTC)I'm glad things are ~okay and I'll send some good thoughts into the universe that they stay that way and maybe even crawl towards better than that. I feel you about change. It takes quite a lot to get me to do things differently, or different things. I have such a bad case of inertia all the time. I'm glad things are settling down at work.
I like the idea of this meme. The only problem is that I use song titles/lyrics a LOT. o_O *g*
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Date: 2018-10-13 01:54 am (UTC)I like the idea of this meme. The only problem is that I use song titles/lyrics a LOT.
ME TOO OMG. I don't see that it's a problem! It's so much easier, seriously.
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Date: 2018-10-12 06:25 pm (UTC)I know what you mean about the medication--I know I'd probably benefit from an antidepressant or something again, but the testing it out, figuring out if it's worth the side effects, going off, trying again, fills me with such dread that I don't do it. Bleh.
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Date: 2018-10-14 07:56 am (UTC)The hats were so much fun to make! Very nearly instant gratification!
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Date: 2018-10-12 10:46 pm (UTC)When in doubt U2 lyrics seems like a thing I should consider for titles. I always find that titles so difficult.
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Date: 2018-10-14 07:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-12 11:35 pm (UTC)Man, I hear you about resigning/unresigning. We also have locum tenens coming and going all the time that we have to deal with.
OMG so cute! I'll bet it feels good to be able to get so many done in a night.
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Date: 2018-10-14 10:05 am (UTC)I'll bet it feels good to be able to get so many done in a night.
It was! So very satisfying to finish things quickly.
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Date: 2018-10-14 08:35 am (UTC)Your thoughts on the lyrics are interesting!
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Date: 2018-10-16 11:59 pm (UTC)Thank you!
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