Patron Saint of Falling Over Things

I am a little bit ahead in NaNo, huzzah! This is thanks to Steve telling an old man story about this boil he had one time in Poland. That bit is slated for destruction. Steve, you're a super soldier, you probably can't get boils. (He says "Firstly, I got a boil when other men were dying of septicaemia, so have a little respect, and secondly, it was more of a carbuncle.")

Old man stories. I love writing this fic! lilacsigil will be giving me major side-eye when she reads this, because she had to sit through three weeks of hair tearing and chest beating while I got to this point.

(Also, I'm rapidly approaching the part where I really need to know what happens and I really don't know what happens. Again. Every year. I cannot plan for shit, I really can't.)



I work out twice a week with a personal trainer, and we meet at the local netball courts to do this - lately there's been this super cute blue heeler coming to vist me. She's a chronic escape artist - it's a heeler thing - and she pops across the road to see what's going on, and she has this adorable wriggly dance of "HEY PEOPLE I LOVE YOU IF I APPROACH BUTT FIRST WILL YOU PAT IT?".

This morning, I was doing crunches on the mat, and I had my eyes closed because I was dying. I could hear my trainer giggling, which seemed unusually cruel of her, so I opened my eyes to find doggie standing over me, gazing adoringly into my face.

( There's a doggy under this cut, also some discussion of workout goals for this year )



The other thing I wanted to note down so I remember it (because it happened too fast for the phone) was on Tuesday. We were driving along the ridge of a gully, and there was a bird kerfuffle off to the left (my side, the passenger side.) When I looked left, I was eye to eye with an eagle, omg. It was flipping huge, flying through the gully, while magpies buzzed it. It's too late for chicks in the nest, so it must have had a go at the adults? Anyway, wedge tailed eagle, bloody enormous, flying like a boss with those amazing swoops they do, while two magpies about the size of its head chivvied it, fluttering over it and under it, and oh wow. It was like suddenly being in the middle of an aerial dog fight.

Eagle. Very big. (Sometimes they stoop on cars here and damage the roof with their talons.)



Recs:

The Deep End (8697 words) by emilyenrose
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Sam Wilson (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Sex Pollen, Dubious Consent, Humor, Angst
Summary:

In this story: exquisitely tragic and beautiful Russian romance, James Bond shenanigans, designer drugs with highly specific effects, Steve Rogers’ overactive imagination, a swimming metaphor. Also: a villain has a secret sex room, some assassins join the mile high club, and Captain America punches a shark.

Spy shenanigans, and Natasha/Steve/Bucky, and it's all good.

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what you are asking fits with everything on my list (7356 words) by irnan
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov
Characters: Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst, Crack
Summary:

Bucky's been trying to set Steve up since 1935. Natasha's been trying to set him up since 2012. What's more logical than that they should join forces?

Bucky would like Sam Wilson to know that that is not actually a dirty joke about him and Nat, thank you and fuck off. (Even though it kinda is.)

I must have been on a bit of a poly bender? This is also Natasha/Steve/Bucky, and also has an excellent villain

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A particle, a wave (1068 words) by kvikindi
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Characters: Howard Stark
Additional Tags: Manhattan Project, References to Injury of a Child
Summary:

"My father helped defeat the Nazis. He worked on the Manhattan Project."

Short and very ouchy Howard POV.

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Hooked on a Feeling (2901 words) by fmo
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Additional Tags: mildly a crossover with X-Men, Fluff, get-together
Summary:

Some guy creates a machine that gives everybody in New York mutant powers. Bucky gets empathy, which initially makes him very cranky, but later enables him to figure some stuff out that he might not have figured out otherwise, and ultimately turns out to be the very best power of all.

X-Men fusion, which is always like candy for me - who gets what power? What do they do with it? This is short, not particularly angsty, and very neatly done.



And back to the carbuncle mine I go.

I made it into the pool! It was amazing! Everyone was really, really nice! I'm a little bit high on endorphins right now!

After twenty years, I had forgotten how nice it was to be in water - all floaty and relaxing and light. A really nice feeling. The class itself was fun and interesting, but long; I thought it was a forty minute class, but it went for an hour. It started easy, and got harder, and there were a lot of exercises that used resistance and buoyancy in clever ways. I thought about Iron Man a lot, and wished I had thruster boots on to weigh my feet down, because my body seemed to want to go end over end in the water. People talked about what TV they're watching, which was tricky, since I download everything and have no idea what's aired in Australia or not, but nobody asked me, so that was fine. And class was briefly interrupted by a koala who strolled across the lawn in front of the pool. Stupid koala.

Thank you everyone for your encouragement. I'm so pleased I went, and I'm going to go back next week. Presuming I can move at all tomorrow.

Our personal trainers were all "Yay! It's all cardio day!" And while at the time I was super buzzed with endorphins, and super amazed at all the wonderful things I could do on my knee (I walked some reasonable distances! I stepped up, if not down!) I'm rather regretting everything now.

Then there was physio.

( Trigger warning for a brief discussion of fat acceptance versus healthcare )


Anyway. Closing some tabs.

Deep Space Nine fanart by softestbullet: 1940's Kira Nerys. This is fantastic! Kira is so fierce, I might die of it. *hearts*


From this post on ONTD: If Famous Writers Had Written Twilight:

Twilight, by Dr. Seuss

Jake likes a girl. Her name is Bella.
Bella likes a different fella.

See this vamp? This is Ed.
Ed is pale. Ed is dead.

Ed saved Bella from a van.
Ed must be a special man.

Ed won't kill boys. He won't kill girls.
Ed gets fed on deer and squirrels.

This is James. He's a tracker.
He's a sort of vamp attacker.

James hunts Bella for a thrill.
Will Ed kill him? Yes, he will.

But James gave her a little bite.
Will she be a vamp? She might!

Edward fixes Bella's cut.
She won't be a vampire.
But...

She becomes one. Read some more.
She's a vampire in book 4.

(I love this most of all for the fact that it rhymes "girls" and "squirrels". Lol your funny accents, USians!)


Oh, man, I have to post a pic of this stupid sticker, off a packet of screen cleaner wipes:

[Image: Round sticker showing a finger approaching a small puckered aperture. It's a warning sticker, with a red circle and slash.]

It took me five seconds to actually do what this sticker warned me not to do. Five seconds. While I was laughing at the sticker. I couldn't get the plastic opening off my finger. I had to scream out for help, because it was cutting off the circulation to my finger. lilacsigil had to bend the prongs back so I could... pull my finger out. It was a headdesk moment of monumental proportions.